My brother came home pretty mad. He threw his soccer ball against the fence right by where mom and I were weeding our garden. "What's up Jayden?" (Moms just know about when boys throw their stuff at fences.)
"I'm tired of people who can't learn the rules. It ruins the game for everybody."
Mom pulled up another weed and said, "Sounds like today didn't go so good, huh?"
Jayden was really mad...cuz' he said the name of a kid and then something bad about him...which is totally against our family rule.
I won't put the kid's name in my journal, but this is what Jayden yelled right before he went in the house: "__________ acts like we are playing baseball and he catches the soccer ball with his hands and when he gets tired he just sits down like he is on base or something! If he wants to play baseball...then he should go play baseball." He sorta slammed the screen door a little.
"Wow-sers!" I said, "He is M-A-D!
Momma looked over at me: "He'll feel better after dinner. I know he was looking forward to today's practice and it sounds like it didn't go so great for his team. Too bad when people don't do their best to support the teams they choose to be on."
I pulled up a giant dandelion. "I understand about that because remember last summer when Luci and I had our club and we had matching blue shirts and then one girl (whom I will NOT name) wanted to be in our club and we said, 'Sure!' "Do you remember Mom?" I pulled up another dandelion. "And then that girl decided that she didn't want blue shirts...she wanted to wear a pink striped shirt. I had to be the strong one and tell her that this was a blue shirt club and if she wanted to wear a pink striped shirt that she should go find a pink striped shirt club. That made sensible to me. But she just wanted to change all of the rules and tell all the kids at school what was wrong with the blue shirt club and she came to our meetings and she always complained about not getting to wear pink striped shirts. Is it kinda like that Mom?"
"I think it's alot like that Hadley. Could you hand me those clippers?"
And then I remembered something that they said at school. "Mom, do you know what some people are doing?" She clipped off one of the old raspberry stems. "Some people want to be on a marrying team but they don't even want to get married!" Mom looked over at me on that one. "What did you say honey?" "I said that there are alot of people who carry signs and get all mad because they want on the marrying team but they don't want to get married. They just want to call it married but there isn't a mom and a dad and that's what married is. I saw all about it on our TV at school. And some people just live in the same house and have kids and stuff but they don't even get married! I say if they want to wear polka dot pajamas then go ahead and join a polka dot pajama team don't you mom? But if they want to join the marriage team, then find a mom and a dad, right mom? They can't change the rules that are already there."
"Hadley, you are right. There are enough letters in the alphabet for them to make up their own name for what they are doing and to have their own team." Mom stopped and looked at me. "Honey, thank you for telling me about the programs that you see at school. And I want you to remember that not everyone understands everyone all the time. People get to choose what they want to choose and we get to choose as well. The important thing is that we can love everyone even if we don't like or understand their choices. Now let's go in and get some dinner started."
At the supper table, Jayden told dad all about his practice and how one boy had to ruin it for everybody. "You can't just grab the ball with your hands anytime you want to ...he isn't even the goalie! That is just not Soccer!" Jayden raised his voice. Dad and Jayden talked about the rules for soccer and the rules for baseball and so it was hard getting the potatoes passed over to my side of the table. Then Jayden said the boy's name again real loud.and said he wishes that boy would just quit soccer and join another team. Dad said, "Hey, fella, (he says that when he has to slow Jayden down a bit), "be careful about using his name all mad like that. It's ok to NOT like what he's doing, especially if he knows better. Maybe he just doesn't understand about all the rules yet, but he is still a real person and we will not ruin his name in our home."
I think The Coach will take care of it. He probably knows all about his team and about their decisions and why each player does what he does and He knows how to help the best. You just support the coach...because he is the one in charge and He knows all the rules. Your part is to be friends and I know that you can do that. He will learn the real rules about Soccer sometime because it is true that Soccer Teams play Soccer...and it is all set up and has been the same for all time. Anger doesn't help any team son. I think most people are trying their best and our part is to be kind. We want that kind of a world, right? Jayden was quiet and then he finally nodded his head yes. What Dad said just makes sense. WELL, alrighty then--my turn f i n a l l y:
"N-O-W can you pass the potatoes," I said and then added very quickly, "And the salad and the chicken and the rolls and the carrots?" (I knew if they started to talk about different teams AGAIN that I might never get dinner!) But, Everyone just stared at me; no one passed anything!. OH. YEAH. I was SO HUNGRY that I had almost forgotten the rules for that! Manners have always been the same ones and will always be for all time...no matter how hungry I was.
FINE.
"P-L-E-A-S-E pass the food!"
Then everybody passed me something all at once and we all laughed. What a team!
