Far Far Away...

Mom and Dad had to go to another State. And it is far (VERY far) away. It is called a business trip because dad has to show some computer things to lots of people in a gigantic room. He gets to draw the stuff on a wall so everybody can see it. Well, he doesn't actually even draw on the wall for reals...because he is drawing on a computer, but it shines on the wall really big. Anyway, mom just wanted to go with him because after the convention thingy they can go on dates and stuff.

At first, I thought it was a great idea. Because I really really love it when grandma comes. We get to choose what we want to eat and we get to stay up late sometimes. She doesn't even worry about all of the chores so much...because we are so busy having fun. Well, she sorta worries about the chores but she makes up other chores that are different I think. She tells us stories about when our mom and dad were little. Plus, she really really likes pizza and so do I.
It's just that tonight, I miss my mom and dad. Other states are so so far away. I just wish I could be there and see them for a minute. That's all. I would just peek in and give them a hug and look at them. And they would be right there. And I would be right there.

I don't like missing people...and I don't like far far away states. Cept, my aunt Lacey and uncle Trevor live where my mom and dad are. Why can't we all just live by each other and not have to have that sad stretchy feeling? Plus, what if my aunt Lacey has her baby tonight and what if mom and dad get to see it and I don't? What if the baby looks around and wonders where I am? What if it yawns a cute little yawn for the first time and I can't even see it yawn?

Mom usually reads me a story or else dad will make up one about hobbits and things. I know that I am getting big and can read to myself...but it isn't the same. I have little tears, and I keep turning my pillow case over again and again, but it won't make anything change very much. Don't cry Hadley K. I think the tears mean that I am a little sad...but maybe they mean I am happy too sorta. Because when I think about it, I am happy that I have such a good family and so that's why I miss them all the way through to the other side of me. And I will see them soon. And they said they would bring me a surprise! And I thought that would be great... but now I think they are the best surprise!

I better go to sleep. Grandma said we could go feed the ducks tomorrow. I love to feed the ducks! They have little duckling babies right now at the park. They are sooooo cute. I hope Uncle Trevor will send us pictures of their baby. Maybe it will have dimples? I don't even know what it looks like. Grandma said that it might come to earth tonight! I want to be there so much. I will miss everything. I don't even know what color of blanket they have for their baby. It seems like earth is a far far away place from Heaven. Maybe little babies cry because they miss Heaven. I would hold that little baby gently and kind so it will feel happy to be here on earth.

The best part of all will be when my mom and dad come home. We will blow up balloons and make a humongous sign. It will say: WELCOME HOME! ...and we will tape it to the garage door to surprise them. And then they will be home.
I can't wait to give them a gigantic hug. When I think about it... about far far away, and about that baby, and about my mom and dad, and the missing things and stuff...

I wonder if maybe that's how Heavenly Father feels about us?

Best Friends!

I drew this picture of Luci because she is my best friend.

I have lots of friends. It is great to have lots of friends. Then I can know who I am talking to at school, and when I go to the swimming pool, or the library, or the grocery store. I can say, "Hi Shandra, do you remember which color Ms. Clay said that we should color Austria with?" Or, "Jann, how do you do a flip off the diving board without hitting your head?" Or, "Megan, where did you get that book? ...and is there another one like it?" and stuff like that because when I can't remember what mom wanted at the store then I can go ask Mrs. Carter who has a cell phone and she can call mom and ask. Friends are good because then their faces are familiar and you know where you are and things.

But...a best friend is even different than that. Way much different I think. You never EVER have to wonder if your best friend will invite you to a party...because if you can't come...there wouldn't be a party.

Sometimes, best friends like different stuff to do...but mostly, they choose something to do together anyway or take turns choosing and then you both like different stuff! A best friend gets two drinks of water every time. A best friend shares the popsicle right down the middle. When a best friend breaks a cookie, you get to choose which part you want first. If there is a double rainbow, then you run to call your best friend so they can see it too.

If you have a sad day...a best friend will try to think of something to cheer you up, or if that doesn't even work...then that friend will be quiet with you. Even if you are a little mad, a best friend will forget what you said right then. They just forget the words, cuz' they know that those bad words don't really fit on you anyway.

A best friend asks you questions about what you think...and then they listen. Mostly, people say, "how are you?" and then they keep going and are almost gone before you say, "fine". But I don't think "fine" is even a real answer. Fine about what? Fine is like OK. It's almost like saying nothing. A best friend looks right at your face and wants to know how you really are. Are you happy, sad, mad, glad, surprised, scared, tired, lonesome, funny, or do you have a secret, or a present, or a cold, or a new book?

That must be why I have Luci for my best friend...and I know she is. Her grandma even knows my name and that I can jump the rope at least 74 times usually. Luci likes my favorite colors, PLUS, her favorite colors.

A family is like best friends too, I think. My mom and dad and brothers get it about me. They know what I like and what I don't. They help me with the mathy stuff. They all watch my favorite movie sometimes too.

I think it's awesome that Heavenly Father knows to put us with our best friends when we get to earth. And I am glad that I live by Luci too.

Sometimes, I worry about my little kids and really really hope that they will like me alot too when I grow up into a mom and when they get to earth.

At the swimming pool last week, a boy yelled at his mom, "I don't like you!" And I just stood there because he said it again! ...and I couldn't hardly move. He was yelling his head off, and his mom was getting all red, and they didn't even see all of us watching them and so I threw my diving stick in the water and jumped in the water real quick so I couldn't hear them. But when my bubbles came, up I popped, and I saw the mother go huffing into the restroom. The boy was still mouthy, (like any of us cared that his swim time was up), and it was waffle awful. But, that made me think alot about someday when I have kids...and I really really want them to like me.

I will be the best mom that I can so they will treat me good and write me notes and stuff. I will let them have ice cream and I will help them make their beds and I will take them swimming and to the library and I will make them dinner and tell them about the scriptures and teach them how to say their prayers and then they will never be too lonesome or want to YELL. I sure hope I don't get yeller kids. That would be awful.

I just hope I get best friends sort of kids. That's all.

What about MY PLANS?

Today was one of the worst days in the history of the world. It started out very very good and then it all got all ruined.

Luci and I were ready for swimming lessons a whole month or 3 weeks ago. My stuff was all layed out on my dresser. Mom even got me some pink lemonade lip gloss. We counted down every day until the final day. And the final day was this morning. I called Luci on the telephone to tell her that it was almost 9:00! Our swimming lessons start at 9:30 a.m. (that is the morning time...because then there is p.m. and that is 'past morning' and that's how I know).

"Mom said I just have to fold one more set of towels and put them away and then she will be ready to take us," I told Luci. "We will pick you up really really quick! Don't forget your paper and your towel and your money."

I folded all of those towels in a winky dink! I was so excited because Luci and I could go to swimming lessons every week for life and it would be so fun. Luci is not so brave with holding her nose and jumping in...but I could help her. Luci is not so brave about opening her eyes under the water...but I could help her. Luci doesn't even want to jump off the diving board on the last day...but I could help her! Luci doesn't know what treat to buy after swimming lessons...but I will show her for SURE! and maybe she will buy a banana popsicle just like me. Or a Chico Stick or red licorice or maybe Dots. Yeah. She will buy Dots. But I will get a banana popsicle...cuz' Dots just stick to my teeth...that's all. I like the colors and all...but they aren't that great. Swimming lessons are the best part of the year. Well, that is...they WERE the best part.

Now for the worst day in the history of the world part. We had our papers signed by our parents...yup. Towels...yup. Money...yuppers! "Okay then," the lady with the whistle and orange sun-visor said, "let me S-E-E just a minute h-e-r-e, and she looked up our names from last summer and that made me so excited because last summer we got Mrs. Janter and she is the best swimming teacher in the galaxy and she let us jump off the high dive two times last year and she let us toss some colored noodles in the water and then we would dive in after them and they were every color you could think of. Plus, she let us take the foam-boards down to the deep end once and we got to paddle all the way across the pool and when we did, she gave us a coupon and it was for a free movie for our families! BUT NOT TO BE!
"Hadley K Merit Shay is in the Guppies class this summer...so follow that sign to your teacher...and Luci Megan, you are in the Minnows class...so follow that....

WHAT?! This CANNOT be happening! We paid REAL money for this. Luci is my best friend. I felt like my crayons in car window sun.

W-A-I-T just a minute here. "MOMMMMM..." I sighed my best sigh e-v-e-r. So mom talked to the orange sunvisor lady about friends and stuff and the lady pushed her sunglasses up tighter and said that somebody else had figured it all out and she was just the inbetweener and could NOT change a thing. She didn't feel bad, or even hardly look at us, or blow that whistle which is supposed to save kids lives. That's what I wanted to tell her. But she turned to the next kid in line and pretended that Luci and I were not drowning in sad. My feet were stuck to cement.

Mom explained to us that we could still go to the lessons together and we would still have matching towels and we could still get a small treat after lessons together and still come home together but I said, "Maybe we should just quit these swim fin bin lessons together." How could they do this?

Mom took us aside and said that we needed to make a decision. If we quit, then the money would just go down the drain. But it was up to us. I couldn't understand why they would just throw our money down the drain. Mrs. Janter would be very mad about that. She told us that we should never bring small things into the pool because of the drain and if it got all plugged up then we were through. Oh My!

Luci just looked at me. How could she learn to swim if I wasn't there to help her and stuff? Now...she would never open her eyes under water and it was all that sun-glassed-orange-sun-visor-whistle-lady's fault. I bet she doesn't even have children and I bet she doesn't even make cookies for them either.
"Okay, Luci, just go to the Minnows and be brave...and remember...DON'T RUN...because Mrs. Janter knew somebody's uncles cousins friend once that fell...remember Luci? Oh, and meet me right by the Guppies sign when you are done."Then, I gave mom a hug, "Thank You for taking and paying...but MOSTLY for telling that 'take our money lady' that Luci and I are friends...even if she didn't listen." Mom said that everything would work out and that she thought we had made the right choice to stay and take the lessons. And really...I sorta think we did...too. But I was still not happy about it.

The Minnow class got a really pretty teacher with a braid wrapped up on her head and purple sunglasses to match her purple swimming suit and it kind of matched mine too. I spied on that class because our teacher was late. There were six kids in my class and I only knew five of them...that's all. We couldn't even get in the water until our teacher came and so we watched all of the Minnows and Dolphins and Shark classes having fun and talking and plugging their noses and we just sat there. All at once a MAN teacher came to our side of the pool and yup...he came right straight for the Guppies. I just want to be a MINNOW! At least he had a blue and green and yellow and purple shirt on with little green fishes on it and so maybe....BUT NOT TO BE...he was climbing up the life-guard highchair...because next came orange-visor lady and announced that she was our very teacher.

I looked across the pool at Luci and she was pretending to have lots of fun because I saw her laughing at Angela and Angela is in our class at school sometimes and their teacher had all kinds of colored noodles. Pretty brave of Luci I thought. So when we got in the water and I could splash water in my face...and wash away one little tear...I decided to get brave too.We talked about all of the rules and this lady had LOTS of them. No Running. No Splashing. No Talking. No Smiling...probably. We got in the water and practiced going under for the count of 20, then 30. I can count really fast and so that part was easy. She had us float, and then try arm strokes, and then we held onto the side and kicked our feet for awhile. She had us say our names again. Then she whistled real loud and that means: 'Guppies get out NOW!'...because three little whistle beeps mean 'All Guppies slide to the Side'...and one little tiny whistle means: Listen Fish and DON'T make a Swish! We practiced those whistles over and over.

I peeked over at Luci and she was holding a salmon colored water noodle next to her happy teacher. Life is not fair. No matter what anyone says, I don't CARE! Life is not Fair. My mom always says that everything will work out right...but my day was all wrong.

Some days are just bad. It's bad when that lady won't even listen. When we don't get colorful water noodles. When we have to wait on the edge for a long time. When we don't even know everybody in our class. Plus, I think I got a little sunburn and they didn't have treats cuz' the vending machine was broken. They only had chips and pop and those are NOT good choices.

I am SAD and I am MAD. This is MY Summer vacation and MY Swimming lessons and none of it is working out like MY plans. I thought about when my hair was frizzy, when I didn't get my homework done, when Sienna didn't invite me to her Birthday one time, and last summer when I couldn't go to Luci's until I finished all the vacuuming, when I scraped my arm on the fence, when my brother got all mad at me because I got his best kite stuck in our tree, (like I planted the tree right there!) ... and the time I had to do dishes for two days in a row because I back-talked a bit to my mom about them, and when my best doll fell and broke her arm right off, and when I got the flu, and when I wanted a horse really bad, and when I lost my best book, and then I thought how ALL of MY IDEAS and PLANS get ruined ALL OF THE TIME and now I am in orange-visor lady's Guppies class and that is the worst of ALL the game.

I decided to sit on my bed and pout it out. And an idea just plopped right on top of my new pouty plans. It's about fish and water and stuff cuz' who wants to be a guppie? What about a angel fish or a dolphin, or big whale or something cool. And that's when the idea came. Not so much about swimming, but maybe about lessons probably.

I remembered about a Jonah scripture man that made great plans and nobody listened to him and so He got all mad and decided: Forget it! And then he got in a gigantic whale and had to think about things for three whole days. OH MY that would be very scary. And he finally got out and decided to do what is right even if it wasn't what He Planned or where he wanted to be. My dad says that sometimes our plans are not the Plans that are the most important and after the whale spit Jonah out he learned to be patient and to trust about Heaven's plan for him.
I guess I would rather be a Guppie than swallowed by a whole whale!

Maybe I better not be so MAD...maybe just a little mad.
Maybe I really should be in the Guppie class. Maybe if I am nice to the orange-visor-lady (I don't even know her name)...then maybe... she will be nice too? Maybe nobody made her cookies or listened to her when she was little. Maybe Not. Maybe So. (doesn't matter)... FINE.

I will listen to her billions of rules and stuff...and I will be kind...and maybe I can take her cookies at the very end of the summer with my thank you note...IF she lets us jump off the diving board at least three times...that is.

First and Last School Days

Well…the thing about school is that I like the first day and the last day. All the other days inbetween are the problem. But mostly I like school alot. I like all the art days and I like recess and I love, love, love, library days and my birthday-day and field-trip days and science fair days, and lots of other days too.

I like the first day because the crayons are all new and my backpack has new pencils and two new notebooks that smell like fresh paper. Plus, my shoes are all new and I have an extra pair of new shoelaces for when they aren’t.

I like to look around and see who is in my class. Our desks are all clean and we get to see where our tote trays are and we can put our stuff in them whenever we want. (except when teacher is tired... and then we stay in our desks and be quiet.)

I like the last day at school because we get to take everything out of our desks and tote trays. We get to wash our desks off with spray and use the paper towels at the back to scrub them off…and we get to put our chairs upside down on our desks and just be done. And we get to keep the rest of our crayons (usually I throw away the box because it is taped one time too many and so I bring a baggie and sometimes the boys give me some of their crayons too! I save all of them except the bitty pieces I just scoop up and throw away because they are tiny.) Plus, sometimes we even get to take a book home from the reject table in the hall by the library. They are still good books, but Mrs. Havers, the library lady, just doesn’t need them anymore. (Well…sometimes they have writing in them or some crinkly pages and stuff…but it’s still a book.)

I get to take my teacher a thank you note and a little present and everybody is going to miss everybody and it is way good to not have any more mathy stuff and we can just go have summer and go swimming, or do whatever we want, and go to grandma’s house and stay for 12 days or the whole summer or something.

Plus, we get to be done with Eli and Regge! Some days I wonder why they even let them come to school.

Oops. Sorry. I broke our family rule. (If we say something nice about someone then we can use their names…but if I write something not so nice about someone then I can’t even say or spell their names). Fine. So there are two boys at school (who I won’t name) that aren’t even worth it! One of them says swear words sometimes. And when they are supposed to stay in line, they don’t…and when they are supposed to raise their hands…they won’t. I don’t even know if the boys, that I won’t write their names about, know what manners are? Maybe they don’t even have parents? Cause’ that what parents are for is to tell their kids about RESPECT and stuff.

Moms always say “Say Thank You, honey, or say Sorry or stand up when grandma comes and give her a big hug.” I know to turn off the TV if company comes and I know if somebody is an adult…then I should listen. Who doesn’t know that you shouldn’t talk with your mouth full and that ‘Please’ is the magic word. Maybe those boys (I won’t say who) don’t understand about sharing a piece of cookie with everybody who smells it. Yeah. They must not have parents because they are rude. They think they are the only ones that count in the whole galaxy.

My mom says that talking on cell phones can be rude too. She turns hers off when she is by real people and when it wiggles in her pocket, then she goes into another room or waits til’ later. Dad said that sometimes people text right in front of other people. I bet if those no-name-rude-dudes in my class had cell phones, they would even text right in front of the teacher! Those boys call our teacher by her first name too and that is not respectful AT ALL. WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE, anyways? I think they don’t EVER take turns or take time-outs… or take baths. Anyway, they can take a hike…AWAY from me.
**************************************
OK, now when I think about it…our first day on earth we all came brand new and on our last day we get to go back home to Heaven…and stay FOREVER…and all the inbetween days are the days where we study the stuff we have to learn…and even those yucky boys started their first day like a child of God…and He has sent them here…too. Maybe when school starts again or in about 34 years...they will be much much nicer. My grandma says people change sometimes. ‘We never know…do we.’

Temples mean Forever!

We just had Conference. It only happens 2 times between my next Birthdays. What conference means is that we get to listen to the REAL PROPHET! And I love to see The Prophet! Just makes me smile somewhere inside myself. Well... I can always know when it is almost conference time. My mom buys apples and caramels. We almost always have carameled apples for conference. She says it is because Conference is Nutritous and Delicious and Sweet! Get it? Because the apples are the nutritous part and the caramel is sweet part. She is funny like that sometimes...but it all works. Plus, my dad tells me to pick out some quiet activites before conference so I can sit still. My main part about conference is to be quiet because my parents love Conference, and they want to hear every word. One time, even my dad got a tear in his eye, and it was a happy tear because I could tell.
Anyway, If I want something...I have to get it BEFORE the Tabernacle choir starts their first song. They always dress alike when they sing; I think its because they are a choir. Even they have the same necklaces! My mom thinks they sound like angels when they sing. Anyways, so this conference I got my scented markers and eight pieces of paper, and my favorite stuffed giraffe that Aunt Teresa gave me, and my photo album, and a booklet that my Primary teacher gave us about Conference Stuff, and a very pointy pencil that I sharpened just for Conference. Mom said that next conference, she will get some pillowcases for me to cross-stitch on...she says that tying the knot so it doesn't come undone is the most important part, but she knows that I am a good learner and so I can handle that! My mom say it would be nice if I tried to listen to the talks for things to write about or draw about. And I did! ( I did try! But it is a long long time and next time I can probably do better...)

My brother sometimes sleeps a little in conference, but I know that his brain can still hear about it and so he'll be ok. I know that my brother in Brasil will be watching conference on a little TV with people that have never seen a Prophet before. There are people who don't even know that a Prophet talks to Jesus and then tells us what He said and what we should know.

Ok, but first before I write about conference, I have to write about the other part of my week.

So...last month or the other one before that one...I'm not sure, Miss Kendra's mom called my mom and they talked for about twenty hours because they are friends, and my mom was all smiley and then she looked kinda sad and then she was smiley and then she looked kind of sad and then she talked about colors and marching and music and stuff and then somehow it all ended up that: because Kendra lives sorta by us , well, 4 houses more down our street, and over that way for about two blocks... and Plus, because she likes me alot...I get to be a flower girl when she gets married!!! I looked at my mom: "What's a Flower Girl?"

I remembered when I was little that I got to be a daffodil in the 1st grade play and all I had to do is sway back and forth when Matthew (who was the wind) blew his way (way too much!) across the stage and stuff. Half of us kids got spit on I think because he really blew like the wind.

Anyway, My mom said that this is different and I get to have a new yellowy dress with some flowers on it and things. That's because I am a FLOWER GIRL, so I have to wear the flowers. "What does a flower girl do?" I wondered. I thought that maybe I would give flowers to Kendra when she came out of the Temple, so the man with the cameras could take lots of pictures like my Aunt Rachel has on her wall when she got married.

"Honey, the thing is, that Kendra is not getting married in the Temple." "WHAT?" I sorta shouted. Oh, now I get it, so that is why my mom had looked kind of sad. "She will be married at a church and sometimes when people get married at a church, they have a flower girl who throws flower petals on the floor in front of the bride. Would you like to do that for her, Hadley K? Well, I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it. "Why do people throw things ON PURPOSE in the church mom?" I looked right at her eyes because she always picks up even teensy pieces of paper or even a tiny cheerio if she sees it on the floor at church! Plus, since it is a very special place, our family even cleaned the church a few Saturdays ago, and I had to dust inside every little singing book holder thingy in the whole Chapel and it took me a long long time. I couldn't even think about her letting me throw flowers on the floor at a church! OH, now I see, that must be why she is not getting married at the Temple. They would NEVER EVER IN TEN THOUSAND YEARS throw things in the TEMPLE.

Ok, so here's the deal. I ended up getting a new dress with flowers on it. I had to go to 2 practices and it was sooooo long and mostly I just had to march down the isle to the beat of the music about weddings...so one practice would have been just fine. The first time we walked down the isle, I started to sing: "Here Comes a bride...here comes the bride" way outloud because Luci taught me that song...but Kendra's grandma came running over and told me not to sing it outloud, so we all had to go back out and start over. All you have to do is make a step and then stop and then make another step and then stop, over and over and over.... That's all. Plus, I had to rip off some flower parts and throw them on the floor. I only got to practice that one time for about two steps. They thought I could take care of that part...and I did.

They had decorations everywhere in the cultural hall. It was like a big party. NOBODY could see Kendra in her wedding dress until the last second of the marching and I mean N-O-B-O-D-Y and so she was stuck in the bathroom for a long long time. But, I got to go in there and see her because I am the flower girl and flower girls can go anywhere because everybody is so busy at all the other places! Plus, they had minty candy and cashews and I love CASHEWS (they are shaped like the moon...so sometimes I call them: 'Moon-nuts'!)...and so I checked out the kitchen a few times because of those! It was all pretty much fun for me, getting to throw flower petals and stuff, but when I think about it and the part I wanted to write down is the other part about what the suit man said to Kendra. You will not even believe what he said.

Ok, so we stood in line for a while out in the hall way. I peeked through the door and there were lots of people sitting on the folding chairs in the gym. Well, you couldn't tell they were the folding chairs because somebody had put covers over them and they had a bow on the back. I really like that bow thing. I think I will have bows on my chairs when I get married too. Ok, so Kendra's grandma told us all to stand still and be quiet and then she told us when the music started and stuff, so we would know when to march out and I could start throwing petals on one side and then on the other side. and she did. And we did. But, Somebody behind me whispered: "Throw them gently, Hadley! Oops! I think I did throw them too far, because one lady was pulling some petals out of her hair right then. Oops. 

But, then I did great and just dropped them down and then I stepped on them so they would stay right there where I put them. It all worked.

Kendra was so beautiful. She looked like a princess. She had sparklies in her hair and her dress was so pretty and way behind her. WOW! I was standing right by her and I was looking up at her for the whole wedding. A boy had to stand right next to me. He was holding a fancy little pillow with a real diamond ring on it. The boy didn't like holding still or holding a pillow so much, but afterwards, he told me that real diamonds last forever and they are very strong and can even cut through glass and steel!) I was thinking that it was all just wonderful and special and I couldn't wait to get some refreshment treats at the ending. BUT, THEN, something major awful happened. After the man in the suit talked for a long time...(and that is not even the worst part). The worst part is at the end of the talk about all of the married stuff...he said, UNTIL DEATH DO YOU PART! I just blinked and my eyes got so big. I thought maybe I heard about that all wrong. I looked over at my parents. My mom had a little tear and so did Kendra's mom and so maybe I heard it right? You can feel when tears are happy or when they are sad...and you just have to go with it. I wanted to ask that man: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" ...but just then I looked at Kendra's grandma and I could tell that I better not 'say a word or move a muscle'. Maybe he meant 'until death... do your part'. Yeah, maybe I heard that part wrong. Because Families are Forever. Just because somebody dies in death, for reals, it doesn't mean they have to quit their family. Wow. That would be sad.

Anyway, Kendra kissed her new husband and then they danced and then they smushed some cake in their faces and then they took pictures and then everybody went outside and threw rice at them and then they got in a car that said 'just married' and then they drove away...and then I got to put three Cashew cups in my pocket and then we drove home.

On the way home, I asked my parents, why Kendra wanted to have a wedding where everybody throws things away? I threw the flower petals and Kendra threw her bouquet thingy and her new husband threw a headband thingy and then everybody threw rice all over the parking lot. My parents laughed with me about that. But then, my dad got real quiet and he said to my mom, "I hope they don't throw their marriage away too." Everything got quiet in the whole car and our insides were sad sorta. I could feel that. How can we be sorta sad after such a party with decorations everywhere (even balloons in the basketball hoops), and with leftover cake going home with us? But we were. We were sad. And that's when my parents told me again about how important the Temple is and how important Families are. Then they told me about the man's words. SURE ENOUGH. I HAD heard him say: Until Death, do you part. OH NO! I needed to tell Kendra. I needed to tell her new husband to drive careful and not crash at all, before they could get married in the Temple because if they die now, they do not get to be together forever. OH MY! We have to find them. Then, mom said that they already know. WHAT? They already know? Ok: just tell me that the world is not round anymore then. WHAT? They know that they are not forever? That IS NOT REAL LOVE! I just looked out the window because my brain was stuck right there and I was sad. Very sad. I don't even know if I want to wear the flower girl dress ever again. If I do, I will just think about the colors; I will not think about Kendra's NOT FOREVER WEDDING. I will just think about the Cashews and the cake.

Anyways, my hand is getting tired from all of this writing...but I want my genealogy (all of my children that are still up in Heaven waiting for their time to get to earth) to KNOW SOMETHING ...(when they are born and get old enough to read this)...that I WILL ONLY GET MARRIED IN THE TEMPLE so I can have them f-o-r-e-v-e-r.   DON'T you guys even worry a bit about that!  We will be a forever family. We will not be throwing things around or away at my wedding. And that is what I heard about at Conference. I heard about that Families are Forever.

I heard alot about the Temple in Conference and I am going there someday.  I used my best blue marker (it smells like blueberries... well, sorta...but the lid was off so long that I had to lick it to get it to go and it sure doesn't taste like blueberries); I drew a picture of the Temple and I am going to hang it up right by my bed.

One of the talks said that if we have a name and a standing in the Temple that we will be safe and I wrote that part down too. And I have to ask my dad about that some more, because I don't get all of it, but I did hear the safe part and the forever part and I know that it is true. I saw the real PROPHET and I heard him say that He loves me. And there were flowers there, full of all of the colors, so I used every marker in my box to put flowers on my Temple picture. And now that I think about it... I will wear my flower dress next Sunday and then everybody in Primary will remember about Conference and about: TEMPLES mean FOREVER!

I am NOT BOSSY!

Some days are good and some days are really great and some days are bad and then today was worse than anything invented (that ever happened in the history of everything!)

Somebody called me 'BOSSY' and I am NOT bossy. And that does it! Because it was Kara who was one of my friends... who was almost not my friend anymore. At least that's what I thought at school today.

It all started when Ms. Clay divided us up into Solar System groups. Kara and Luci and I got to be in a group. We didn't know which planet we would get...except no one got Pluto anymore because it is not a planet now; it's still out there just like it always was, but it doesn't count the same as it did before Scientists changed the rules about planets a bit. So we could do a report on: Mercury or Venus or Earth or Mars or Jupiter or Saturn or Uranus or Neptune. Those are the eight planets for now...oh, and we can report on The Sun (which really isn't a planet either...but since it is smack dab in the middle of everything and all the planets circle around it...we get to include it in the reports). AND my group chose The Sun out of all the tiny folded papers in Nathaniel's baseball cap. I was so happy that Luci chose that bitty paper because I know how to draw a Sun very good and PLUS...I had great ideas for our group.

We whispered because we wanted our report to be very secret and very awesome without anyone stealing our great ideas. "Come on Kara and Luci, let's go back by the pencil sharpener so no one will hear our plans. Seems like Jace and Jonathan and Samuel got Mars and I heard them say that they were going to wear green face paint to do their report and maybe even hand out Mars candy bars. Hailey and Caitlyn and McKenzie chose the paper that said: 'Earth' and so they got the moon (and two balloons) automatically. Soon all of the reports were drawn and Nathaniel got his hat back.

Each group got a balloon and a stack of newspapers. We had to rip the newspapers into strips and then we dip the strips into ooey gooey sticky stuff and it is called paper mache and we took turns putting them all around our balloon. Tomorrow the whole Solar System will be dry and we can pop the balloons underneath and poster paint the planets!

I told Luci to smooth the gooey strips just a little bit better because you can't have a Sun with too many sticky outy parts too much. I told my group that we should make a poster about the Sun and that we should use orange and red and yellow paint on it because I know about paint and colors and stuff, that's all. Well, I told Kara to look up about the Sun in the encyclopedia by Ms. Clay's desk and told Luci that we should all wear Sun colors when we do our report.

I said, "I think Luci should start and talk about how we would all die if we didn't have the Sun...because we would...we would just flop over and die dead. We need it every day. She could tell about how the Sun gives us the Light so that we can see things. Without it, we wouldn't see anything and would probably just fall over our shoes and stuff all the time...except without the Sun we wouldn't even need shoes because we wouldn't be here."

Then I told Kara that she should talk about how the Sun is not really a planet because it is really a Star. The biggest one, because it is the closest to us. She could tell how the Sun is burning up. It is made of gas that all stays together somehow and it has burned for billions of years and hasn't burned up, because it is like the metal inside a toaster and it glows but doesn't really burn. It is called nuclear reactions...but that is the part that we might skip a little until we read about that some more with our dads. Anyway, that's why the Sun makes us feel warm and gives us heat and that is why we love summer time so much. I told Kara that she should read about all of that, but I could tell that Kara didn't especially know about nuclear reactions either so much. But I told them that I could talk about the names of the Sun. I looked it up and in Latin (which is another language where they don't speak English like us, they call it the 'Sol'. And to some people who speak in Greek because their parents didn't teach them to talk like us...it is named Helios...but we will just say Sun because we do know how to talk in English. So I think I will talk about how the Sun is 109 times bigger than the Earth and that there are 300 billon stars in our Galaxy but the Sun is the closest star of all of them and so it is our favorite.

And right then, just as I was going to go get the colors all picked out for our planet and poster painting tomorrow, Kara said that she wasn't going to do the part that I wanted her to do. And I told her that we had to do all of the parts and that was hers. Then she said, "You are so bossy Hadley K, you are not the Sun you know...we don't all have to go around you all the time...what about our ideas? OH MY. I just stood there. It felt like my shoes were paper mached to the floor with all the sticky paste stuff. I froze. I couldn't move. WHAT? I am NOT BOSSY! Luci froze with me for a minute. Then Kara said, "Fine, then you two can do it by yourselves...because you think you have ALL the good ideas." and she went back to her seat and pouted til' recess. I looked at Luci. Our report was going to be very horrible and awful now. "She has to help us Luci...Ms. Clay will be soooo mad." And I was getting a little mad too. BOSSY! Who me?

Bossy is what little kids do. They tell everybody what to do and where to be and how to play and where to sit and what to say and what to eat and how to think and they tattle about everything and they never listen to anybody until their mother says: "Honey, quit telling them what to do, you just take care of you...let me be the mom." But I wasn't doing that! I just had some really great IDEAS and I was JUST HELPING MY SOLAR SYSTEM SUN GROUP so we could do a super special report, that's all!

It is not good to be angry at anybody...and so I tried my best...but that really made me mad red hot like the Sun when she said: BOSSY. Well, fine. I will write down that the Sun is 863,040 miles across and maybe tomorrow Kara will read about that to our class and I will do her other part. Maybe I should have been in the Saturn group because I like the ring around Saturn and we could use a little hoola hoop or something to show that. They would like all my ideas.

After school, I asked Luci if she thought I was BOSSY. "I'm not, am I Luci?" She started to bite her bottom lip which she always does when she is thinking really really hard. "Luci, just tell me what you are thinking right now." I said. The she asked me a question instead. "Hadley, you know how you like to think of great ideas?" I answered "Yes" because I do like to figure things out. "Well, what if Kara said all her ideas and you didn't get to say any of yours?" I had to think about that because Luci had a very good question and she is my very best friend. "You mean what if she decided about everything (what I talked about for my report and what you talked about for your report and what she talked about for her report) and what colors we should paint our Star and what we should wear?" Luci nodded her head. "No way! She can't do that. She can't make up all the decisions. NO WAY!" I said. OOPS.

And then I got it. That is what I had done. I WAS BOSSY! OH NO! I forgot to listen to Kara's very own ideas. PLUS, I forgot to listen to Luci's ideas. "Luci, did you have ANY ideas?" She said that she had a great idea, but we ran out of time at school and now we ran out of time again because we were at her house. WOW! I am BOSSY. And now I wonder what Luci's idea was?

I burst into our house and told my mom the whole yucky story about my day. She was reading a library book, but when I got to the BOSSY part...she put it down and looked right at me. "Mom, Kara is soooooo mad at me that I think she will ruin our whole report. I am going to tell her that she has to do it. She can't ruin it for Luci and me. I will make her do her part tomorrow." My hands were on my hips and my mind was made up about that girl.

Was I ever having the worst day of all time. Plus, I might flunk out of school if that report isn't good and then I will never get to have a real locker or go to a higher grade. But mom had an idea and my day changed to 180 differences.
"Hadley, honey, may I tell you a story about the Sun? Grandpa told it to me when I was little?"
At first, I thought she was changing the subject...but then I remembered that other people have good ideas too, and so I listened real close to see what her idea was.

"Once upon a time the wind and the Sun decided to have a contest. They saw a man on the sidewalk and they decided to see who was the strongest. Their idea was to see which of them could make that man take off his blue coat the fastest and then they would know who was strongest. So the wind blew and blew. The wind blew very hard trying to blow the man's coat right off...but he pulled his coat tighter around him. Every time the wind blew, the man pulled the coat closer. Finally the wind was all blown out and the Sun tried. Out came the smiling soft sunshine and spread rays all around the man. He started to smile and began to get warm. Soon he took his blue coat off and enjoyed his walk in the Sun."

I could see what my mom was saying already. Her idea was to be warm and kind to Kara like the sun, not to be mean and cold and blow and blow like the wind because that would make her mad again. I cannot make her do the part I say. "Mom, what would the Sun do to take the pouty stuff off of Kara so she will help us?" Then mom picked her book up again. "I want to hear your idea about what to do, right after you set the table," she said.

I knew what I had to do. Right after dinner dishes, I called Luci to see what her idea was for the Sun group. She had a super idea about cutting our poster into a round circle and stuff. Then I called Kara and she almost hung up on me! She was still pouting. How can anyone pout that long? She could have been playing instead! But I kept thinking: Sun, Sun, Sun, and so I was warm and kind and nice and sweet and polite and I said I wanted to hear what her idea was. She had a great idea too! She wanted to bring a light bulb to school tomorrow because: The Sun is so bright that it is equal to 4 trillion trillion light bulbs! That is 4.000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 of them! OH, that is something that I didn't even know about! And she wondered if we should tell everyone not to look right at the Sun because it would hurt their eyes very bad, maybe even to blind and stuff, and then we both had the idea that we could all wear SUN GLASSES!!! Very cool! I will call and see if Luci likes that idea too. Then we talked about Luci's round poster idea and I could hear Kara start to smile right over the phone. PLUS, she said that she liked my idea about giving every one a yellow smiley sticker because that was sorta like little suns on their hands.

My hand is getting tired from writing all of this. Ok journal, help me remember about other people's ideas too. I don't have all the ideas. I never ever in a million years ever want to be BOSSY again. No WAY! I know that Heavenly Father made the whole Galaxy and the Sun and all of the Planets...so I know He can help me be a little bit kinder to people. Thats what I will ask Him to Please help me with.
When dad got home, he gave me a big hug and said, "Hey Sunshine!   How was your day?" :)

Homework First! Blah!

"Is Anybody Home?" I called out about 20 times! "Is Anybody home?" But... there was not a sound. No one said anything. Zippo!

"IS Anybody Home?" I yelled louder: three more times. Then I started to get worried a bit...because I couldn't find anybody. I looked everywhere. Nobody. Right then, I got worried a lot. Where was everybody?

After school, I always, always, give my mom a hug, and tell her about my day. I put my books down, and hang up my coat, and go to the backporch to pet Scruffy, who is NOW an OUTSIDE Dog. She chewed up one too many things to be an INSIDE Dog! But in the winter, I can keep her on the backporch because it's warmer than out-out!

"Scruffy, where is everybody?" She just wagged her tail. I had to look for hints. There had to be signs about where everybody went. The towels were folded by the washer...so mom had been there. My brother's bookbag was by the frontdoor, so he had been there. There were some carrot peelings in the sink, and the crockpot was full of stew...so mom had been there. Ok, so my dad is at work. Check. My big brother is in Brasil on a mission. Check. But what about Markus and Mom? Maybe Markus was still at basketball. His ball wasn't in his room. Check. But where is Mom?

I thought I heard a sound...but it was only Scruffy moving her dish.

When I was little, I thought monsters were real...they seemed like real. But now, I am old enough to know about shadows and stuff. Thinking about all of that made me need to call my grandma right then! But just when I picked up the phone to dial her number, I saw a note on the table.

'Honey, I hope you remembered that I am taking Markus to the dentist after school. There is some fruit in the fridge. Be back soon. Love, Mom.' OH, Yeah, that's when I remembered that Mom was going to take Markus to the dentist after school...and she'd be back soon, so I was all alone in our home. Maybe I heard another sound. I tried not to think about the bad stuff about being alone. I tried to think of the good stuff. But, I needed to get my 2 dolls first. I am big, but I have two very special dolls, Lena and Zana... that I will probably keep forever. I used to talk to them alot. Sometimes, I still do... just so they don't feel bad. McKenzie helped me name my dolls. She thinks of good names I think. And I wish she were here right now to play house with me. McKenzie is such a fun and kind cousin.

I put Lena and Zana in my arms and marched into the family room. I was in charge! I could pretty much do anything that I wanted! Mostly, I wanted to go back outside and sit on the porch and wait so that I wasn't alone in our home...but I sure didn't want Markus to think I was afraid...BECAUSE I WASN'T...that's why! And it was very very COLD out on that porch after a few minutes anyway. And PLUS, my dolls were cold too. SO...I just got brave. And I am brave...but there are sounds and stuff. So, I took my dolls with me and we turned on every light in the entire house! BE Brave, Be Brave, Be Brave.

Anyway, I had lots of homework to think about. My mom always says: "Honey, get your homework done first." But she wasn't there...and that TV was! If I turned it on, it might have something to watch right then. At First, I thought: Okay, Hadley, you know what to do, you should get your homework done. Then I thought: I know that I know what to do...but I also know what I want to do, and I'm in charge and I can do whatever I want! So I made up my mind!

I put my dolls on the couch and told them that we could watch TV together. The TV remote was high up on the shelf...but I could reach it on my tippy toes. I looked over at my homework...then at the TV...then at my homework...then at the TV. Hmmmm! My dolls just looked at me. OK! OK! I was in charge...that's kinda like I was like the mom... and I knew what to do. I put the TV remote back up on that very high shelf and picked up my books and my dolls. I spread my homework out on the kitchen table and put my dolls on two chairs right next to mine. I was the teacher and Lena and Zana were the students... I read my library book aloud to them, since mom wasn't there. They listened to every word! Then I taught them how to spell all the words on my list. Only 4 math problems and my homework would be all done! They sat so quietly.
Just when I finished my very last problem in math...I heard a knock on the front door. Oh MY! My heart about stopped! Be Brave. Be Brave. Be Brave. Should I answer the door or not? Was it a stranger or not? I grabbed my dolls, hurried into the front room, crawled across the floor, and tried to peek through the window curtains. It couldn't be a purple monster. There is no such thing as a real purple monster. It couldn't be a polka dotted ghost. There is no such thing as a polka dotted ghost. I just hoped that knock would go away. Would it be someone short or someone tall? Knock. Knock, Knock. Would they want to come in? I better go get my guard dog, Scruffy, I thought. The knocking got louder. Oh my! I crawled back across the frontroom and then ran across the kitchen and to the back door to get Scruffy. My mom would want Scruffy to save me! She would let her come in...JUST this once...I just know it! "Come on Scruffy, Come on." I loud-whispered. Somebody wants in our house!

Scruffy was so happy to see me that she jumped up on me, and then she ran into the house. "SHHHH, Scruffy!" Then the doorbell started to ring. OH MY! Somebody really wanted in! Be Brave. Be Brave. Be Brave. I finally got Scruffy all calm, and I crawled back across the frontroom floor. Scruffy followed me, just wagging her tail. Then Scruffy saw my dolls and she ran over and picked up Zana in her mouth! "Scru-f-f-y!" I sorta needed her to growl and bark so the person on the porch would run away, not eat my best dolls...but Scruffy just wagged her tail some more. The doorbell rang again right when I took Zana out of Scruffy's mouth. I ran to the backporch and pulled the little gate thingy shut. "STAY SCRUFFY!" She might not be a guard dog after-all...but that was a sad emergency time to find out! BE BRAVE. Be Brave. Be Brave. Brave was not enough. I said a quick prayer because Faith is even better than Brave! I tiptoed over to the window again, and pulled back the curtain very... very... s-l-o-w-l-y...just an eensy weensy teensy bit...and tried to see who was out there. AND oh my! WAS I EVER SURPRISED!

I started to breathe and a little safe giggle came out. Its good that Scruffy was on the back porch so she couldn't jump up and knock our visitor down. Then I ran back to the entry, unlocked and opened the front door. "GRANDMA! I'm so glad its you!" I put my arms arms around her and held on real tight. "Hadley K, where have you been? I've been knocking for a long long time!" My grandma shook some snow off of her shoes and took off her scarf. She had tried and tried to call me, but I had left the phone off the hook when I saw mom's note. "Hadley, I told your mother that I was getting my keys and would be on my way. She took your brother to the dentist. I was supposed to be here before you got home. But, my car wouldn't start and so I had to get Mr. Franley to help me. I am so sorry honey." I told her that sometimes things happen like that. I didn't really want her to worry about all the sounds, now that I was safe and stuff. Besides, I am big. Plus, I make good decisions...plus: I am very very brave...Plus, (mostly):the prayer...so I was just fine the whole time.

We followed that yummy stew smell into the kitchen, and grandma stirred it a bit. She saw my books on the table. "Maybe you should get started on your homework Hadley K and then when you're through, we can bake some cookies if we have time." "I only have one more thing to do!" I smiled. Then Lena and Zana and I went to the storage room to get some chocolate chips...and on the way back...we turned off all the lights!